The year began with a broken heart and a lot of change. The first 10 days were spent traveling throughout Brazil, enjoying all the warmth and excitement that Rio, Salvador and Manaus have to offer. It was an awkward time, yet one that I will never forget. It was my last vacation with Nick, but the best way to end it. We had a lot of fun despite the heartache of a 2 year relationship lost, and I am so happy that I was able to have those last trusting moments with him in one of the most beautiful places in the world. It was also the beginning of many changes.
Just one week after Brazil I moved out of the place I shared with Nick and settled into Chinatown, all by myself. I was really on my own... no roommates, no boyfriend, very few friends. The apartment was quiet, I slept on a futon, I was really very lonely. I started going out and meeting new people. Ken was really the first person that I met that I found myself good friends with. We've had our rough moments, but there is something that cannot break the bond of friendship we have no matter how much we get on each others nerves.
March landed me a new job at Digitas. Done were the days of the one-way hour long commutes to Quincy for meager pay and little respect for the amount of work that I did. The move to Digitas has been one of the best decisions that I have made this year. The company is successful, has a lot of great benefits, and I get to work on some of the most visited web sites for one of the biggest companies in the United States. My co-workers are great and there is a lot of potential here for me to succeed and progress in my career.
Mom, Dad and Chelsea visited me twice this year; once in February, once in August. This was the first time that my father really had any interest, basically because I wasn't dating anyone and was living by myself. We all had a wonderful time during the visits, but it only made me realize I need to work harder on my family's understanding of the importance of accepting me, and the people I want in my life, not just tolerating it.
Over the spring/summer I met a few more people that have become some of my closest friends. Aaron and I met in the spring and have become wonderful pals. His visits brought a lot of laid back, yet fun times. We already have stories and have become travel buddies. I don't remember when I met Paul, but I guess it's not important. Paul is my Club Cafe partner, one who can easily make me laugh and forget the reason why I am depressed or mad. Our trip to Six Flags was a blast and I hope in 2005 I get to spend more quality time with him. Jason and I met in late May and found ourselves strangely connected to each other. I felt like we had known each other for years and years. We had some wild times and some deep conversations. And over the past months, we have grown closer and more trusting of each others advice. I am glad he has given me the privilege of his friendship. And in June I met Eric.... ohhhh Eric. There was that spark with Eric; we both had it. And if he didn't live in San Francisco then maybe there could have been something. But for now, I am content to have been able to have been in his company, earn his friendship, and share in his life.
And there have been the boys... John, Isaac, Eric, Andres, Daniel, Luke... The boys over the past year that I have really been interested in, but for some ungodly reason, could never get it to work out. Everything from moving to being on the other side of the country got in the way. Thankfully, I still maintain my friendships with them, but still occassionally wonder what it would have been like to start building a life with someone. I miss that; I miss being able to share that part of me with someone. At the end of November I met someone who I am still trying to gauge, hoping that it won't end in just another friendship, but instead with a trusting, loving, partner in life.
This year led me to many different places across the States. I found myself in New York City many times, at Gay Days in Orlando, San Francisco, New Orleans, Montreal, and Philadelphia. Nick got me started on traveling, and now I have the bug. I didn't do anything international this year (well, not counting Brazil), but hopefully that'll change in 2005. I already have some places planned in the coming year, some new and some being revisited. And perhaps a trip with Nick...
The last half of the year has kept me busy with friends, family, the holidays. Everything has been a dramatic change from the 12 months ago when I started out on this journey alone. I have wonderful friends, a renewed relationship with Nick, a bright outlook, and long-term goals. The year has been a series of ups and downs, but if given the chance to go back and change anything, I wouldn't.
Find me in New York City over New Years... Here's to a happy and prosperous 2005!!!
